Thought for July
“Having lost life’s
sparkle, I walked to the Moon Lodge—alone, There to find some serenity I
could call upon when the need arose. I
witnessed the miracle of reclamation, as I counted my blessings once more. My joy returned, overflowing as through the
silence I bore witness to the miracles I had forgotten in my haste. Tonight the moon burst! Yesterday I taught a child to smile. This morning, I found a rainbow on my
doorstep. Tomorrow I want to share my
joy with you.”
-Jamie Sams
Reflections on Spiritual Retreat
In the
summer of 1995 I found myself in the midst of physical, emotional, mental and
spiritual turmoil. Seventeen people I’d known and loved had died within a
year and a half. I’d lost the sight in
one eye through an unexplained wet retinal bleed. The church I was pastoring
was far from supportive.
My beloved
life partner said to me, “Nancy,
whatever it is you believe, you need to believe it
now.” The problem was that I didn’t
know what I believed anymore. Some of
the leaders from my church suggested I must have unconfessed
sin in my life for which God was punishing me. Others thought that God was trying to teach
me a lesson by “hitting me upside the head with a two-by-four. More than one wanted me to resign my pulpit
before I lost the sight in the other eye and they were (in their words)
“stuck with a blind pastor”.
One day as I
sat trying to connect with my Creator, a thought struck me like a bolt of
magnificent lightening! I needed to go
to Ely. I needed to pack my tent and sleeping bag and head to the woods of
northern Minnesota. And, I needed to go alone.
Living in Oklahoma at the time,
I would need significant time off. I
approached the church leadership and requested two to three weeks to go alone
to the north woods of Minnesota
to try to find my way in life. I told
them I would come back and do one of two things: resign my pulpit, and likely my
credentials, or rev up and lead this church with renewed passion and
vigor! They readily granted me the
time off.
I spent two
weeks alone in a secluded campsite. I
called home from the ranger station every three to four days. I hiked, and prayed, and journaled. Below
are some excerpts:
Day 1
I could smell wood burning from other
campsites in the park as I came across the lake. It was pleasing to my nose and reminded me
that, although I was the only one in the whole lane where I had chosen to set
up camp, I was not totally alone. I
found myself wondering how successful I’d be in stirring up the earlier fire
that had so graciously given of itself to cook my evening meal. And sooner than I wanted to be, I was tying
up the boat and climbing up the steep bank toward the path that led to my
campsite.
And there was the silence.
It was too early to go to bed and too dark to
read. I was, at last, alone in the
quiet with myself. I shuddered
involuntarily. I tried to stay up
until 10:00pm. The time was filled
with playing with the crackling camp fire and picking up the lantern to check
my watch. Finally at 9:30 I could take no more. I gave myself permission to begin spreading
out the coals and preparing for bed.
I lay awake in the tent for a long time. Silence.
I couldn’t even entertain a decent thought. In the distance a wolf howled. This brought me no comfort. After a time the haunting cry of a loon
came over the water, magnified as the sound traveled through the trees. It was eerie and unsettling as I drifted
off to a restless sleep.
Day
3
As the fire roared to life it occurred to
me: Here I was working to get a
blazing fire, only so it could die down to create the hot coals I needed for
cooking. I mentally struggled with
this idea for a while, weaving in the concepts of life, death and
resurrection. I knew that once the
coals had done their job, I would hope for the near death of them while I
went out to fish, then a total resurrection of the fire when I came back in
off the lake, chilled from the cold.
Life,
death, resurrection.
I pondered these for a while as I played with
the fire. It occurred to me that you
have to have life before death, and you have to have death before you can
have resurrection. Since there is no
earthly life that does not end, the three go hand in hand in a cycle of
sorts.
This led to my thinking about why I was there
at Bear Head Lake. How interesting that I had come to the “end
of the road” in order to find myself.
Would Ely be the end of the road for my professional ministry? Would it be a resurrection for my spirit? What if it became both?
The uneasy feeling returned.
Day 13
Good grief!
I’d just blessed a lake, some fish and half a dozen leeches out loud
in front of God and anyone else who might have been
within ear shot. And all I could do
was grin.
That night I sat around the campfire and felt
my heart singing. I was so grateful
for that fire, for the campsite, for the trees, foliage and the creatures of
the woods. When I arrived I could only see the trail. Now I was tuned into the flowers, the moss,
the birds and all of God’s creation. I
was grateful for the sounds of the loons off in the distance and for the
experiences I had had there. My skin
was browner and my muscles were stronger.
My self-confidence had risen beyond measure. My thoughts were positive and my prayers
very personal and intimate with God. I
clutched the medicine bag close to me and wondered when exactly I’d first
embraced it.
I turned in by 10:00 leaving the front flap
of the tent open so that I could lie there and see the stars through the
screen mesh. I knew that it would be
chillier like this, and that at some point during the night I would likely
get up and zip up the flap, but I would deal with that when and if I needed
to. For now I was simply enjoying the
presence of the moment there in the woods.
Day 14
The next morning as I sat there having my
last cup of coffee I watched the coals die out. Everything was packed neatly into the Jeep
except for me, and my coffee cup. I
wrote my final journal entry:
My life has become a prayer. God is in everything….a rain drop on a
leaf, the stars so huge and low. The
haunting cry of the loon while I lie in my tent now brings me comfort. The soaring scream of the eagle flying over
my campsite on this last morning brings me joy. Sitting with the sunset…feeling the tug of
yet another walleye makes me laugh out loud.
I now notice that God is in everything and
I am in God. The wind rustles the
leaves and I listen so as to hear God’s voice and to know and experience the
breath of God…just for the moment.
My hair is lighter. My skin is darker. My body is stronger. My life has new confidence, meaning and
purpose. I am needed….by me.
As I pack on this final morning, I feel a
deep renewal of my self, and yet a sadness at leaving this all behind.
And when did I stop being so afraid of all
deep things? (smiling)
I reflect on my hike to Blueberry Lake. I think about the wolf kill and the bear
that ran across the road in front of me; the deer that ran across my path
stopping to lock eyes with me for only a moment. What an intimate moment. And then my mind drifts to the two loons
with their tiny brown baby, and the loon line dance I’d been privileged to
watch that special night. I think
about the chips and squirrels and wiggly garter snakes; the majestic eagle,
the night of the northern lights…and the man who came through the woods to
help me last night.
As I sit here I breathe in the woods. I breathe in God.
Soon I’ll be driving back down I35 South.
The gauge on the Jeep reads full. The
gauge on my spiritual life also reads full.
It’s time, but I still have a reluctance to go. It’s not that I don’t miss my family….it’s just a sense of deep loss I am feeling as I prepare
to leave. I’m not ready for the noisy
world with all of its sensory stimulation.
I’m not ready for the “So did you have a good time?” and “Did you take
any pictures?” There are no adequate
words to describe what I have touched and what has touched me. The photographs may turn out great, but
they can never capture the sheer magnificence of God I found in these woods.
As I drink my coffee I think about my
“goodbye” with the lake last night. It
has been such a privilege to fish her waters and silently reverence her
sunsets.
I now look around my campsite and again I
give thanks. For the fire, the space
itself, the rocks and trees and creatures who shared so generously with
me. And out loud I hear myself saying,
“So long, Bear Head Lake. See you next time.”
And as I turned onto Hwy 169 thirty minutes
later I realized that I was out of the woods.
At least for now.
I went home to Oklahoma reved
up to lead a church with renewed passion and vigor. Thanks to the spiritual retreat I was able
to realize life is not so black and white.
I kept my credentials but resigned my pulpit a month later. I have pastored
two churches since that time.
I have gone on spiritual retreat
every year for the last fourteen years.
While I try to hold a “moon lodge” each month, it is usually just for
a few hours or day. I find that I need
the extended time alone. On July 27th
I will be leaving for a ten day spiritual retreat in the north woods. I will
keep it simple. I will experience
silence. I will learn to live in the
solitude. The first forty-eight hours
will be tough, but after that I will begin to open up to all the Spirit holds
for me. This is where I will find serenity,
witness the miracle of reclamation, count my blessings, and rediscover the
miracles of life.
In next month’s edition I’ll want
to share my joy with you.
What Can Horvath-Zurn Consulting Do For You?
Small Groups
Small groups of three to four
people offer the opportunity for feedback and reflection from other
perspectives. It’s a chance to learn
from other people and find new meaning on old concepts.
Spiritual Retreat
Perhaps you’d love to go on a
spiritual retreat to the woods but are leery of going alone. Nancy
will set up a trip with you. You will
NOT CAMP TOGETHER, but she will be in the same campground. You can custom design your retreat!
House/Home Blessings
If you are interested in having
your house blessed with oil or smudged contact Nancy.
She will ask you some basic questions and then set a time to come to
your home. If you have any “dark
places” or concerns, she will assist in identifying them for you and spiritually
cleanse your living space. For fee
information or to set an appointment, contact her today!
Spiritual Readings
Using a simple stone to transfer energy, you can have a
reading that will help you look at your past and present in order to inform
your future! Nancy can also act as a Medium. You can choose a one hour reading or a
thirty minute reading.
Mentoring
Sessions
Many people are shifting from religious beliefs to
spiritual beliefs in this day and age.
Questions can incur as one moves from what they’ve been told about
religious beliefs to what they actually believe. Nancy
provides a safe space in which to wander as you wonder. J
Some folks work best with structure, so there is the opportunity to
sign up for 8 structured mentoring sessions at a reduced rate.
Keynote
Speaker
As a motivational speaker, Nancy is able to inject humor into her real life messages of hope and
inspiration. She is available to
churches, spiritual, educational and civic organizations. Her candid story telling and demeanor
captures audiences and leaves them with a sense of “Wow!”
Workshops:
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Come and
experience one of Nancy’s upcoming workshops or classes!
·
Ghost Hunting 101
·
Ghost Hunting 201
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Ghost Hunting 101: Have you noticed the increased interest in
mediums, ghosts and psychics on television these days? Perhaps you’ve caught an episode or two of
Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters International, or Paranormal State. This workshop will give you the basics of
simple ghost hunting. I will show
photographs and share experiences from various personal ghost hunts
including, but not limited to, the notorious Mansfield Reformatory in Ohio, the Haunted Trolley Ride in Atchison,
Kansas, a visit to the Myrtles Plantation in
Louisiana, and an all night stay at the
Crescent Hotel in Eureka Springs,
Arkansas. This class is available through Rochester
Community Education.
Tues. Oct. 27th 6:30pm – 9:30pm
*You must
reserve a space through Rochester Community Ed. 328-4000
or www.rochesterce.org/adults
Ghost Hunting 201: For those who have taken the 101
class and would like more particulars and information, this class is for
you! We will delve deeper into the
subject and provide you with a look at all sorts of possibilities in the field
of Ghost Hunting. This class will
provide you with the know-how for beginning your own ghost hunting ventures.
Thurs.
Nov. 5th and 12th 6:30pm-9:30pm
*Again
you must register through Rochester Community Ed.
If you enjoy online classes you can
download for free try these:
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Metropolitan Community Churches are a forty-year
denomination. www.mccchurch.org On
their website, under Education and then Small Group Studies, you will find
three of Nancy’s
workshops. These can be downloaded
free of charge and include a complete leader’s guide:
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The Eight Essentials For a Healthy
and Thriving Congregation is an
eight session class designed for churches.
The Eight Essentials For a Healthy
and Thriving Congregation; Developing a Strategy for Success is the sequel and provides the ground work for
putting the Eight Essentials into action.
Putting a Little Character into
Christmas was written to add
some educational fun to the Advent Season.
Again, it is relative to the Christian church.
Open Hearts, Open Doors; Opening
the Doors to the Transgender Community Again, this course is relative to the Christian church
and available for free download, complete with a detailed leader’s guide. You will find this one under Transgender
(on the far left column of the website).
If you, your church or organization are seeking a
workshop, please contact me. I can
custom write it for you and teach it myself or write a leadership guide so
you can teach it yourself. One such
idea is for The Eight Essentials for a Healthy and Thriving
Organization. This would be the same
concepts without the Christian influence and biblical references.
Curriculum
Development (under
construction)
Ghost Hunting 301: This class will be the sequel to Ghost
Hunting 101, and 201. The first two
classes are a prerequisite. This class
will involve an actual ghost hunt with a professional ghost hunting team.
Date, Time and Location TBA
GIFT CERTIFICATES
Gift
certificates are available for purchase!
Give the gift that will keep on giving throughout the year: A spiritual reading, a spiritual mentoring
session, a series of eight structured mentoring sessions, or one of the
beautifully matted and framed “Out of the Woods’ photographs where Nancy sees the Holy in
nature.
2009 Prices
1 Hour 1:1
Mentoring Sessions $60.00
1 Hour 1:1
Eight Structured Spiritual Mentoring Sessions $40.00
1 Hour
Spiritual Reading $40.00
30 Minute
Spiritual Reading
$25.00
1.5 Hour
Combination of Mentoring Session and Spiritual Reading
$80.00
Miss A Newsletter?
Newsletters
are available for viewing on the website!
Check them out from previous months to be sure you haven’t missed any! www.horvathzurnconsulting.com
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